Everyone reacts differently to being told that they have HIV.. anger, sadness, shame, relief or just feeling numb. Even if you suspected that you may have become infected, there is always that moment where expectation and possibility become reality. In time you will develop mechanisms that suit you, and help you to understand your diagnosis and to live well with HIV.

It is sometimes easy to feel that you are the only person with HIV, but it is worth remembering that there are thousands of people in the UK who have been through that same experience and are now living full and active lives, you can do this too.

You cannot change what has already happened, but you can shape your future and decide where you want to go next. Different people will adopt different mechanisms, both in responding to the initial shock of a positive diagnosis, and later, when coming to terms and living with HIV. Though it might be difficult to appreciate it at the moment, finding out that you are positive means that you are in a position to take action to improve your health and extend the length of your life.

You may choose to take control by finding out as much as you can about HIV, some people find that having information and maybe meeting other people who are living with HIV helps them to overcome their anxieties and fears. You may choose to ignore your diagnosis and get on with your life as before, but remember the HIV will not go away. There are no right or wrong answers, except what is right and works for you, and only you can decide that.

You may be thinking about telling people about your HIV status - it is worth remembering that once you have told someone you cannot 'un-tell' them. Telling people you know that you have HIV can be hard. Think about how they might react, or maybe sound out their views by asking in a general way about some news item you might have heard on HIV, for example. Remember it is up to you who you tell and when you tell them. If there are former partners that you need to tell, your HIV clinic can contact them anonymously.

Positive Options from DHIVERSE offers the opportunity to talk through any issue, including telling people your status, with someone who has been in a similar position. You are not alone, and almost all of us with HIV have gone through the experience of telling people our diagnosis. The range of responses can be hugely varied and often surprising. For more online information on telling people about your HIV status why not visit www.ukcoalition.org.

You probably received your HIV diagnosis at an HIV or GUM clinic, or from your GP. If not, you should consider making an appointment at your local HIV clinic. Whilst a GP can provide routine check-ups it is important to see a specialist HIV doctor at a clinic. HIV clinics are protected by specific legislation, which means that they will not tell anyone, not even your GP about your HIV status, unless you ask them to do so. You do not have to tell your GP your HIV status, and there is certainly no need to tell them immediately. It may, however, be useful to do so in the future, as your GP will be able to provide you better care if he or she is aware of your HIV status. You can always change your GP if you do not wish to tell the doctor you are currently seeing. You should, however, be aware that if an insurance company or employer requests a medical reference from your GP they may disclose your HIV status if you have made them aware of it.

It is advisable to attend an HIV clinic for regular check-ups. If you are not taking HIV treatment and have a high CD4 count (a type of white blood cell) and low viral load (the amount of virus in your blood) this may only be 2-3 times per year, just to monitor your HIV and keep a check on your health.

Being diagnosed HIV positive is a significant moment in our lives. At first it can be frightening and confusing, particularly as the information is constantly being updated and changing as treatments and knowledge of HIV improve. Often you are the best judge of your own health! Becoming too stressed or anxious can affect your immune system, so it is good to learn ways of relaxing, and giving yourself time to rest, as this will improve your body's ability to control HIV itself.

Everyone with HIV has different experiences of living with HIV. Some people became infected more than twenty years ago and experienced HIV before any treatment was available, others learnt their HIV status much more recently. Positive Options from DHIVERSE provides a safe and confidential space where you can meet other people who are living with HIV, and whilst everyone has a different story to tell there are many things in common. It is entirely up to you what contact you want to have: whether you would just like information, access to magazine mailings, the opportunity to speak to a counsellor, or to meet other people living with HIV. Why not get in touch?.

The information in this section has been put together by people living with HIV and is based on our experiences of being diagnosed and living with the virus. Another great online resource for people newly diagnosed with HIV is the UK Coalition of People Living with HIV website. .

We hope to build this resource in the future by including stories about their experiences from people living with HIV. If you have a story you would like to contribute please send it to Positive Options or contact one of the Positive Options Team on 01223 508806.